I know, it's been a very long time since I've blogged. Catching you bitches up on my life would take a blog entry on it's own. Let's just talk about today.
I'm a year older, it's been a busy week so I put off my women on women helping women by women course homework this week. The topic...The Gremlin. We all have one of more. That voice that tells you how you will fail, you suck and how fat you look in that light blue shirt your mom bought you, thus making you look like the stuffing in an Easter Basket. That voice. It keeps you from doing things and keeps you stuck.
So, my homework was to give it a name, description and really put a face to it. I literally had to think about it for about 20 seconds before I realized mine. Becky. She's a fucking cunt. I hate to pull that word out, as we all know I don't like it. But, that's who Becky is. Rebecca Lynn Bates. Cuntbag of my life.
Here is a little background on Becky. I am an only child and was fairly introverted. When I didn't get attention I would act out and do something...didn't matter what really and my wonderful mother would say "Well who the hell did it then, your twin sister Becky?" Yes. It was Becky. Becky ate the ice cream. Becky did it all.
As I got older and a bitchy teen Becky went from being the one who did the shitty stuff to being the perfect twin. She was the best student, probably thinner then me, had the perm my mother always wanted me to have and dress, well, like a girl. In college when I was acting on my love of boobs and vagina Becky was out there, having responsible safe sex with possibly a few respectful and wonderful young men. (I'm guessing she had a few blow jobs with well hung athletes as well...just for good measure.) I graduated Fanshawe a Library Tech and she Graduated Western as either a nurse or something very sensible like that. I dated a woman much older then me with breast cancer, she dated Chuck, a Med student who I'm sure was blond, healthy and hung like a small pony. I worked afternoons at the airport, hiding from life after my first girlfriend died while Becky was out there nursing people, saving lives and making sure Chucks apartment was perfectly decorated for all the loving and boring sex they were having.
I lived at home, worked my ass off and saved for my shitty house. Becky lived with sensible roommates, drove a hot car and spent weekends planning her wedding to Chuck. I think your getting the picture. Fast forward to now. I have a job I love, making no money and am happily single and childless. Becky and Chuck live in a huge wonderful home, with 2 perfect kids. (Boy and a girl with names also sensible like David and Mary) They don't have to rent out the basement to pay property taxes or ask the vet to give her a week. They have been on amazing vacations and look like they did in University. Becky still saves lives, when she's not being the perfect PTA mom. Whore.
Anyway, so this whole Gremlin thing made me see that that voice that tells me I can't do something, I don't look good or am not good enough if that c-word Becky. She's done it perfect her whole life...why bother Rhonda. Why bother. I am not fully clear on when exactly she went from the kid who ate the ice cream to someone who doesn't exist that I can't seem to live up to. I guess that's going to be something I have to work on with my life coach. Still, Becky woke something up in me today that made me want to blog again and write a few jokes.
In your face Becky!
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Sunday, 5 February 2012
Lessons to Learn
I work with a lot of people who are younger then me. I seem to do great with this since I'm such a late bloomer at everything I do...or don't do. Most of the time I have a little fun with giving advice about the wonderful surprises that happens to a woman's body after 30 but I honesty feel that I should be giving real advice.
So, here is some real life lesson's I've learned that almost anyone can learn from.
1. Shaving.
Ladies...don't shave something once thinking you won't be shaving that shit for the rest of your life. And don't for one second think that it won't get worse when you hit your mid 30's. Your 20 minutes to do legs and lady town will soon turn into 45 minutes and an empty hot water heater. So...think before you shave.
2. Save your money. (Part one)
This might be hard when you have your first place and want so many things. There always seems to be that friend who has the perfect place with a silver spoon up her ass who has it all. Don't feel like you have to keep up. You will feel like you want to...but don't. Save your money for something you really want and don't buy shit or for the moment or until something better comes along. If you want a piece of furniture stalk it like the perfect man. Save for it. Don't take a store credit card out or let Mom and Dad buy it. Why? When you save and pay for it yourself, trust me, it's the best feeling ever. It's yours on a level that no one can take away from you. I saved for a year for my bed set. I don't think I could ever give it up. Even for a hot chick with a better one.
3. Friends (Part one)
Maybe its because I am an only child but I do truly believe that friends can be your chosen family. There are a few people in my life who I have loved and cried over because of how close they are to me. That being said, accept people for who they are and don't expect them to fit in every aspect of your life. Support them, love them and be there for them. Expect the same. Be honest with your friends, never in a hurtful way but don't hold it in when they piss you off. Do not let a friend use the love you have for them to manipulate you.
4. Friends (Part two) Money.
This is a hard one. At some point, a friend will ask you for more money then paying for dinner or beer money. If they ask you face to face...that took some balls and they may really need it. Now, this is one of the hardest things ever. Don't give them money. Offer to feed them, develop a plan to get money, problem solve and give your time. Once you start giving money and expecting it back (and we all expect it back in some form) then a seed of resentment will start. If you can't say no or it's a dire situation then before you hand over any money, make a plan for repayment and set expectations. Make sure the friend knows you mean business. At the end of the day...don't expect it back. It is after all your choice.
5. Mr or Miss Perfect.
Before I start this I do accept the fact that I am single and me giving love advice is like me giving diet advice. That being said for most of my life I have been the one people come to with relationship problems or to vent. I embrace this role and maybe this is why I feel that I can give some advice here. That being said I have a few points to make.
When you are looking for someone special or someone is looking for you don't be too quick to judge unless first impression is that they are a total dick. Two things you have to remember if your looking for someone to spend a lot of time with that's going to turn into something serious. Pick someone you can talk to...I don't just mean about your lady feelings and your day. I mean about life, politics, shows, friends, work, food and hobbies. It all. You might have little in common but what is life without witty banter? I don't mean fighting on opposite views but talking it out and having fun doing it. The other thing you need to remember is to find someone you actually enjoy. I don't mean you enjoy their dirty parts, their hair or they make you laugh...but you genuinely enjoy them and how they live their life. When someone enjoys their life they bring so much more to your life. It's great to be all into someone who is great looking and a great idea on paper, (good job, good hair, great car) but if they don't enjoy themselves and life, how are they going to appreciate and enjoy you.
6. Kids.
After years of wanting kids I made the choice last year not to have children. I won't be adopting or picking the perfect donor. I could do either but aside from age and money I have just started to really feel comfortable and love my life. I love children and have children in my life that I get to watch grow up and love on like a crazy spinster aunt. Women have this expectation and need to have children. I totally get that and unlike men we don't have an unlimited ball sack of sperm just waiting for a goal. I also get that you can have a wonderful full and rewarding life without kids. I believe in having kids in your life to give both parents and kids a break and to remind yourself how to be a kid again. Kids need that as much as parents. So take a kid out for something fun, love them and talk to them like little people giving them another perspective on life. If you can, don't jump into having kids until you are 100% sure you are as ready as you can be and always remember that kids are to be guided and not forced.
7. Sex. Glad you all just woke back up and snapped to attention.
Now, we all have heard the saying that every group of friends has a slut in the mix. If you can't think of one...your it. That is very true. Of course my advice would always be don't be the slut...no one wants to be known as the slut. My 2nd piece would be to learn from this person. I mean it. Watch and listen to the slut. Listen to the stupid regret from banging a guy she didn't know without a condom, calling an ex expecting more then sex and sleeping with a guys friend to get back at him for saying no to her. There are tons of stories we have all heard over the years. Now, I'm not saying don't go out and sleep with someone if you want to. Your (god willing) and adult. What I am saying is we all make mistakes, don't whine and cry about doing some one and it not being what you expected when you don't give it more then 5 minutes to figure out to expect less.
Now, we all make what I like to call "errors in judgement". I myself have had one or two. One was about 15 or so years ago and was on my bus this week. We dated for two months. Over the years I have moved like a ninja to avoid any contact with this girl but on the bus as she sat behind I talked to a friend who I was more then thrilled to see. After we both got off the bus I bolted and remembered our brief time together so many years ago. I found myself feeling gross all day and it was all I could do to get home that night and wash up. I don't judge this woman but myself for not thinking 15 or so years ago.
I don't want to mention the double standard that a guy can sleep with lots of girl and be a stud. But I do think of it this way. Guys just stick it anywhere. Women...we make the choice to let someone in. (Litterally) So, it's your choice who you let in and in a way, they will always leave a little something. Even 15 years later...itchy vagina.
8. Bitch. Don't be one.
Sometimes you have to be tough but don't be a c word or a bitch just to prove you can be. Be the bigger person. Trust me, at the end of the day the bitch who was a c word to you will be embarassed for being a twat more then you will be proud to be a bitch.
That's all I have to say right now about life. I'm not saying I'm right at all about anything here. But I can't be all wrong.
So, here is some real life lesson's I've learned that almost anyone can learn from.
1. Shaving.
Ladies...don't shave something once thinking you won't be shaving that shit for the rest of your life. And don't for one second think that it won't get worse when you hit your mid 30's. Your 20 minutes to do legs and lady town will soon turn into 45 minutes and an empty hot water heater. So...think before you shave.
2. Save your money. (Part one)
This might be hard when you have your first place and want so many things. There always seems to be that friend who has the perfect place with a silver spoon up her ass who has it all. Don't feel like you have to keep up. You will feel like you want to...but don't. Save your money for something you really want and don't buy shit or for the moment or until something better comes along. If you want a piece of furniture stalk it like the perfect man. Save for it. Don't take a store credit card out or let Mom and Dad buy it. Why? When you save and pay for it yourself, trust me, it's the best feeling ever. It's yours on a level that no one can take away from you. I saved for a year for my bed set. I don't think I could ever give it up. Even for a hot chick with a better one.
3. Friends (Part one)
Maybe its because I am an only child but I do truly believe that friends can be your chosen family. There are a few people in my life who I have loved and cried over because of how close they are to me. That being said, accept people for who they are and don't expect them to fit in every aspect of your life. Support them, love them and be there for them. Expect the same. Be honest with your friends, never in a hurtful way but don't hold it in when they piss you off. Do not let a friend use the love you have for them to manipulate you.
4. Friends (Part two) Money.
This is a hard one. At some point, a friend will ask you for more money then paying for dinner or beer money. If they ask you face to face...that took some balls and they may really need it. Now, this is one of the hardest things ever. Don't give them money. Offer to feed them, develop a plan to get money, problem solve and give your time. Once you start giving money and expecting it back (and we all expect it back in some form) then a seed of resentment will start. If you can't say no or it's a dire situation then before you hand over any money, make a plan for repayment and set expectations. Make sure the friend knows you mean business. At the end of the day...don't expect it back. It is after all your choice.
5. Mr or Miss Perfect.
Before I start this I do accept the fact that I am single and me giving love advice is like me giving diet advice. That being said for most of my life I have been the one people come to with relationship problems or to vent. I embrace this role and maybe this is why I feel that I can give some advice here. That being said I have a few points to make.
When you are looking for someone special or someone is looking for you don't be too quick to judge unless first impression is that they are a total dick. Two things you have to remember if your looking for someone to spend a lot of time with that's going to turn into something serious. Pick someone you can talk to...I don't just mean about your lady feelings and your day. I mean about life, politics, shows, friends, work, food and hobbies. It all. You might have little in common but what is life without witty banter? I don't mean fighting on opposite views but talking it out and having fun doing it. The other thing you need to remember is to find someone you actually enjoy. I don't mean you enjoy their dirty parts, their hair or they make you laugh...but you genuinely enjoy them and how they live their life. When someone enjoys their life they bring so much more to your life. It's great to be all into someone who is great looking and a great idea on paper, (good job, good hair, great car) but if they don't enjoy themselves and life, how are they going to appreciate and enjoy you.
6. Kids.
After years of wanting kids I made the choice last year not to have children. I won't be adopting or picking the perfect donor. I could do either but aside from age and money I have just started to really feel comfortable and love my life. I love children and have children in my life that I get to watch grow up and love on like a crazy spinster aunt. Women have this expectation and need to have children. I totally get that and unlike men we don't have an unlimited ball sack of sperm just waiting for a goal. I also get that you can have a wonderful full and rewarding life without kids. I believe in having kids in your life to give both parents and kids a break and to remind yourself how to be a kid again. Kids need that as much as parents. So take a kid out for something fun, love them and talk to them like little people giving them another perspective on life. If you can, don't jump into having kids until you are 100% sure you are as ready as you can be and always remember that kids are to be guided and not forced.
7. Sex. Glad you all just woke back up and snapped to attention.
Now, we all have heard the saying that every group of friends has a slut in the mix. If you can't think of one...your it. That is very true. Of course my advice would always be don't be the slut...no one wants to be known as the slut. My 2nd piece would be to learn from this person. I mean it. Watch and listen to the slut. Listen to the stupid regret from banging a guy she didn't know without a condom, calling an ex expecting more then sex and sleeping with a guys friend to get back at him for saying no to her. There are tons of stories we have all heard over the years. Now, I'm not saying don't go out and sleep with someone if you want to. Your (god willing) and adult. What I am saying is we all make mistakes, don't whine and cry about doing some one and it not being what you expected when you don't give it more then 5 minutes to figure out to expect less.
Now, we all make what I like to call "errors in judgement". I myself have had one or two. One was about 15 or so years ago and was on my bus this week. We dated for two months. Over the years I have moved like a ninja to avoid any contact with this girl but on the bus as she sat behind I talked to a friend who I was more then thrilled to see. After we both got off the bus I bolted and remembered our brief time together so many years ago. I found myself feeling gross all day and it was all I could do to get home that night and wash up. I don't judge this woman but myself for not thinking 15 or so years ago.
I don't want to mention the double standard that a guy can sleep with lots of girl and be a stud. But I do think of it this way. Guys just stick it anywhere. Women...we make the choice to let someone in. (Litterally) So, it's your choice who you let in and in a way, they will always leave a little something. Even 15 years later...itchy vagina.
8. Bitch. Don't be one.
Sometimes you have to be tough but don't be a c word or a bitch just to prove you can be. Be the bigger person. Trust me, at the end of the day the bitch who was a c word to you will be embarassed for being a twat more then you will be proud to be a bitch.
That's all I have to say right now about life. I'm not saying I'm right at all about anything here. But I can't be all wrong.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Who am I becoming?
I've been a little starved for something to write about recently but today I had a bit of a truma. Food wise...I have all my fingers.
So, I decided to take out this chicken I had in the freezer and have a nice Sunday chicken dinner with lots of veggies. Before my nap I put the chicken in the oven all nicely seasoned with some cumin (a spice I descovered on my own and much like a few places on a woman's body greatly underused) and pepper. When I got up from my nap I added some beautiful white potatoes and some roasted carrots. I was in a hurry.
Now, I pride myself in my abilty to be able to carve or hack up a roast or chicken with much grace and respect. This bird was not having it. It was holding on to it's meat like no tomorrow. I used 3 knives, then tried to pry pieces away from the bone. Total shit show. Finally I get this poor bird cut up and I try some. Little...chewy? Its' hard to express but I checked that it was cooked well but not over done. The taste was slightly salty. I figured since I had not had meet in about 5 days this could be just one of my weirdo hormonal things.
So, with my very beautiful potatoes and wonderful carrots I dig in to my chicken. Two bites and I was done. Despite that it was the worst chicken I had ever made I just couldn't eat it. Fred was right beside me waiting for his share of chicken, a bad habit I created for both of us. He had one little piece and was done with it too! I guess he wasn't totally asleep when we watched Forks over Knives.
Even over Christmas meat was hard to eat. I think my mind has changed along with my attitudes about meat. I don't think I would ever give it up or anything like that. I just think it's going to be for special occations. The way I'm feeling it will be only on Jewish holidays but still.
This week I'm going to for sure order the 2nd Forks over Knives cookbook and see what I can learn. I've not gone near my scale since Aunt Rosie Red Pants has moved in for a few days and I don't need the pressure and disappointment all at once.
I'm finally craving some cake. Just sayin.
So, I decided to take out this chicken I had in the freezer and have a nice Sunday chicken dinner with lots of veggies. Before my nap I put the chicken in the oven all nicely seasoned with some cumin (a spice I descovered on my own and much like a few places on a woman's body greatly underused) and pepper. When I got up from my nap I added some beautiful white potatoes and some roasted carrots. I was in a hurry.
Now, I pride myself in my abilty to be able to carve or hack up a roast or chicken with much grace and respect. This bird was not having it. It was holding on to it's meat like no tomorrow. I used 3 knives, then tried to pry pieces away from the bone. Total shit show. Finally I get this poor bird cut up and I try some. Little...chewy? Its' hard to express but I checked that it was cooked well but not over done. The taste was slightly salty. I figured since I had not had meet in about 5 days this could be just one of my weirdo hormonal things.
So, with my very beautiful potatoes and wonderful carrots I dig in to my chicken. Two bites and I was done. Despite that it was the worst chicken I had ever made I just couldn't eat it. Fred was right beside me waiting for his share of chicken, a bad habit I created for both of us. He had one little piece and was done with it too! I guess he wasn't totally asleep when we watched Forks over Knives.
Even over Christmas meat was hard to eat. I think my mind has changed along with my attitudes about meat. I don't think I would ever give it up or anything like that. I just think it's going to be for special occations. The way I'm feeling it will be only on Jewish holidays but still.
This week I'm going to for sure order the 2nd Forks over Knives cookbook and see what I can learn. I've not gone near my scale since Aunt Rosie Red Pants has moved in for a few days and I don't need the pressure and disappointment all at once.
I'm finally craving some cake. Just sayin.
Saturday, 31 December 2011
A sign...
New Years Eve. I wasn't going to blog tonight. Mostly because who's the lame chick who is sitting at home alone in her pink and black checked PJ pants listening to a mix of music from Jann Arden to Kenny Rogers drinking diet coke. Yes Shaun, I know all the words of Islands in the Stream and don't pretend you don't either.
So I have been all about going with my gut and seeing where life is pointing me the last month or so. It's been nice to put my energy to new places. In February I am doing some life coach Womyn on Womyn thing (no one will be going down on me so...) where women provide life coaching and help reaching a goal. It's 50 bucks for 13 weeks and to be honest it's basically free considering if I was to pay some professional bitch to listen to me rant about my issues it would be really pricey. (I know the lunch room at work is free Katherine...still.)
Anyway, there have been many signs for the longest time for me to deal with my weight. I've had chances and looked the other way. I'm not going to get really deep on this because no one needs that but I was thinking today that if life were a series of movies I would be the supportive fat best friend. Think about it. They have the best jokes, blend in the background until they are needed for some comic relief and then back they go. This has been my life. I think back as far as public school and that was me. Best Friend in a Supporting Role. Now that I think about things...I have hidden in that role for years and been far too comfortable in it.
So aside from gaining weight I lost and the usual weight loss I keep getting signs. Let's list them off. (Get a drink Katherine) I'm missing some but these are newish and what I can remember.
1. Idea to not eat meat for a month. During the no meat time...I felt better.
2. Super Size me movie gave me a good scare about fast food.
3. Ricardo told me to watch Food Inc. Changed my view of meat and how we view our food and such.
4. Co-worker gave me the movie Forks over Knives. This could be a blog on it's own but in a long and short of it they didn't bash treatment of animals but the proof that eating a meat and animal product free diet works wonders on your system and can reverse some bad effects of a diet with meat. Fun nerd fact about me, I love anything WW2. There were some statistics about Norway and the Nazi's that made me pay attention. This was my hook.
5. Ordered the book from Forks over Knives and got major support from friend about a change.
This last one is a piss your pants kind of WTF sign. So a student who used to work with us is on my FB and thinks I'm great. So she and her partner wanted to set up a friendship with a co-worker friend and I. I creep this person on FB and find that she looks like someone but I can't place it. Then after messaging with my friend she reminds me. She was on a low budget Canadian weight loss show that I watched every episode of. Well...it's a bit of a weirdo sign but come on! If people from Canadian weight loss shows are coming into my life...fucking sign!
So be ready for hardcore Rhonda in the new year. Going to be eating about 90% less meat and almost nothing from animals. I know...I'm not saying it will be perfect but I've got some huge plans for the rest of my life. I'm guessing the next 6 months will start with me being a huge cranky bitch wishing she could eat bacon every second...but after that we could be good??
Here is to not looking back and judging ourselves too harshly.
R
So I have been all about going with my gut and seeing where life is pointing me the last month or so. It's been nice to put my energy to new places. In February I am doing some life coach Womyn on Womyn thing (no one will be going down on me so...) where women provide life coaching and help reaching a goal. It's 50 bucks for 13 weeks and to be honest it's basically free considering if I was to pay some professional bitch to listen to me rant about my issues it would be really pricey. (I know the lunch room at work is free Katherine...still.)
Anyway, there have been many signs for the longest time for me to deal with my weight. I've had chances and looked the other way. I'm not going to get really deep on this because no one needs that but I was thinking today that if life were a series of movies I would be the supportive fat best friend. Think about it. They have the best jokes, blend in the background until they are needed for some comic relief and then back they go. This has been my life. I think back as far as public school and that was me. Best Friend in a Supporting Role. Now that I think about things...I have hidden in that role for years and been far too comfortable in it.
So aside from gaining weight I lost and the usual weight loss I keep getting signs. Let's list them off. (Get a drink Katherine) I'm missing some but these are newish and what I can remember.
1. Idea to not eat meat for a month. During the no meat time...I felt better.
2. Super Size me movie gave me a good scare about fast food.
3. Ricardo told me to watch Food Inc. Changed my view of meat and how we view our food and such.
4. Co-worker gave me the movie Forks over Knives. This could be a blog on it's own but in a long and short of it they didn't bash treatment of animals but the proof that eating a meat and animal product free diet works wonders on your system and can reverse some bad effects of a diet with meat. Fun nerd fact about me, I love anything WW2. There were some statistics about Norway and the Nazi's that made me pay attention. This was my hook.
5. Ordered the book from Forks over Knives and got major support from friend about a change.
This last one is a piss your pants kind of WTF sign. So a student who used to work with us is on my FB and thinks I'm great. So she and her partner wanted to set up a friendship with a co-worker friend and I. I creep this person on FB and find that she looks like someone but I can't place it. Then after messaging with my friend she reminds me. She was on a low budget Canadian weight loss show that I watched every episode of. Well...it's a bit of a weirdo sign but come on! If people from Canadian weight loss shows are coming into my life...fucking sign!
So be ready for hardcore Rhonda in the new year. Going to be eating about 90% less meat and almost nothing from animals. I know...I'm not saying it will be perfect but I've got some huge plans for the rest of my life. I'm guessing the next 6 months will start with me being a huge cranky bitch wishing she could eat bacon every second...but after that we could be good??
Here is to not looking back and judging ourselves too harshly.
R
Saturday, 17 December 2011
Time of year...
I really used to love Christmas and all the stuff that went with it. The tree, food, family and friends. To be honest, getting stuff was a good deal too. I don't know fully when that changed. I think maybe when my Nana died. She was fun at Christmas. I remember spending Christmas eve with her to put the turkey in late for her. It was that fuckin huge and heavy. Nana could cook the shit out of a turkey and make roasted potatoes that should have been put on a food show with chef's asking in a very over dramatic way "How does she do that?" I've tried to roast a potato the way she did...not even close.
The last few years I've been overwhelmed with getting my parents (who do a ton for me all year round) the right gifts. That never fuckin works out. This year...
Ok, so my mother hinted to me she and Dad wanted a good coffee maker with a thermos so they could take it downstairs. So, off I go and get a 100 dollar one at Walmart. Can I just say I don't even drink coffee due to the scoots. Anyway, then I see a better one 50 bones cheaper at the Bay online. So I get that one also thinking I would take the Walmart one back. Then I am in a store telling my mom about this amazing TV deal and she tells me that she and my father got themselves a new coffee maker when they went to the states. I've never wanted to punch her in the face more. "I didn't think you would get us one," was her response to that. "Well Ma, I've got you two so far." This is so going to effect me changing their diapers.
I'm not a great shopper. I hate it. I can find great things for myself and to be honest I do pick a few things up for myself this time of year. I got myself a super mega awesome deal on a big screen TV that I will tell anyone about if they move slowly enough. I was due to get a TV that was a good size and didn't make a loud buzz when it was on.
This year, well I've not been close with the kids in my life. That could have something do with my mood this year. Due to "life" the last month has been very hard but also opened my eyes to this next phase of my life.
Just between us I'm a little worried about the new year. I've signed up for this free women on women (spelled extra lesbian womyn) course in February. I wish it was some hard core once a week rug munching but sadly its a life coaching thing. I know...sounds lame but I think having someone to account for my "self work" would be good. I'd still rather have my rug munched.
I have a nasty cold right now so many that is making me all sassy tonight. Who knows. All I do now is that right now I'm far to content being alone. I did put up a little tree and am addicted to the fire place channel. Sitting on the sofa with a book petting my cat (not vagina) seems to be all I want to do.
I'm guessing I will blog more this week...
The last few years I've been overwhelmed with getting my parents (who do a ton for me all year round) the right gifts. That never fuckin works out. This year...
Ok, so my mother hinted to me she and Dad wanted a good coffee maker with a thermos so they could take it downstairs. So, off I go and get a 100 dollar one at Walmart. Can I just say I don't even drink coffee due to the scoots. Anyway, then I see a better one 50 bones cheaper at the Bay online. So I get that one also thinking I would take the Walmart one back. Then I am in a store telling my mom about this amazing TV deal and she tells me that she and my father got themselves a new coffee maker when they went to the states. I've never wanted to punch her in the face more. "I didn't think you would get us one," was her response to that. "Well Ma, I've got you two so far." This is so going to effect me changing their diapers.
I'm not a great shopper. I hate it. I can find great things for myself and to be honest I do pick a few things up for myself this time of year. I got myself a super mega awesome deal on a big screen TV that I will tell anyone about if they move slowly enough. I was due to get a TV that was a good size and didn't make a loud buzz when it was on.
This year, well I've not been close with the kids in my life. That could have something do with my mood this year. Due to "life" the last month has been very hard but also opened my eyes to this next phase of my life.
Just between us I'm a little worried about the new year. I've signed up for this free women on women (spelled extra lesbian womyn) course in February. I wish it was some hard core once a week rug munching but sadly its a life coaching thing. I know...sounds lame but I think having someone to account for my "self work" would be good. I'd still rather have my rug munched.
I have a nasty cold right now so many that is making me all sassy tonight. Who knows. All I do now is that right now I'm far to content being alone. I did put up a little tree and am addicted to the fire place channel. Sitting on the sofa with a book petting my cat (not vagina) seems to be all I want to do.
I'm guessing I will blog more this week...
Monday, 5 December 2011
My Vagina
Maybe it's my period but today I'm home sick. I almost fainted so I opted to stay home and be gross here. I was thinking about the book The Vagina Monologues today. Not sure exactly why that popped in my head but I'm sure it had something to do with my own vagina who's being a total C word right now. Anyway, I read most of the book a long time ago and there was a part or two asking about your vagina's personality. "If your vagina could talk what would it say?" "If your vagina could get dressed what would it wear?" WTF? I get that it's to empower women about their sexuality, much like those weird parties in the 70's and 80's where you squatted over a mirror and took a look at old Tootsie Bell. I wonder how many of our Mom's went to those "Tupperware" parties?
Let me just say that I've not been to University and I don't have a big psychology degree but I am a lesbian...so that kind of makes me an expert on Vagina Studies. I am also an expert at being a woman...and we all have our issues. I don't get why giving your vagina her own personality and issues is helpful. Then you have two women (unless you have given your vagina a man personality) with body issues. Lets talk about having a vagina with a man personality. Think about a straight guy. He may have some body issues but honestly he's so fuckin happy to get laid he keeps that to himself and just goes for it. I can honestly remember feeling not so bad about 10 years ago and doing the same once or twice. (There was this baseball tournament...it was lesbian heaven.) Anyway, now I've actually turned away from advances due to body issues. I don't need to stand over a mirror to get some self esteem back either, *shivers* we are way past that.
I am thinking the older I get the more accepting I get. I remember being 25 with a huge long list of the things Miss Right Now should have. The list was long and impossible for any one to hit more then 5 things on it. These days my list is down to breathing and employed. I'm starting to think employed is asking a bit too much. Maybe living off a good package or at the top of the EI amount? I'm about ready to take anyone.
That brings us back to my vagina. Much like my own alias my vagina's name is Robin. She's a shy girl who hates long hair, pants and salad. She is an introvert looking for someone special to bust in and shake things up. (Not literally Shaun). I think if she could talk she would say "Stop looking at me." As for what she would wear. Shorts, sandals and one of the T-shirt attached.
Let me just say that I've not been to University and I don't have a big psychology degree but I am a lesbian...so that kind of makes me an expert on Vagina Studies. I am also an expert at being a woman...and we all have our issues. I don't get why giving your vagina her own personality and issues is helpful. Then you have two women (unless you have given your vagina a man personality) with body issues. Lets talk about having a vagina with a man personality. Think about a straight guy. He may have some body issues but honestly he's so fuckin happy to get laid he keeps that to himself and just goes for it. I can honestly remember feeling not so bad about 10 years ago and doing the same once or twice. (There was this baseball tournament...it was lesbian heaven.) Anyway, now I've actually turned away from advances due to body issues. I don't need to stand over a mirror to get some self esteem back either, *shivers* we are way past that.
I am thinking the older I get the more accepting I get. I remember being 25 with a huge long list of the things Miss Right Now should have. The list was long and impossible for any one to hit more then 5 things on it. These days my list is down to breathing and employed. I'm starting to think employed is asking a bit too much. Maybe living off a good package or at the top of the EI amount? I'm about ready to take anyone.
That brings us back to my vagina. Much like my own alias my vagina's name is Robin. She's a shy girl who hates long hair, pants and salad. She is an introvert looking for someone special to bust in and shake things up. (Not literally Shaun). I think if she could talk she would say "Stop looking at me." As for what she would wear. Shorts, sandals and one of the T-shirt attached.
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Bad Ass
You totally know your a bad ass when you air guitar to Mary Chapin Carpenter. Yeah...that is how I'm spending my Sunday night. In my defence I have my period...so...yeah.
For the past few weeks I've been feeling so disconnected with some friends causing me to review our friendship. I keep trying to be understanding and positive, but there is just so much sunshine I can blow up my own ass. My back hurts and I don't really bend that way.
Tonight I was listening to Mary Chapin and thinking...she's one of those lady singers that you can't help but listen to and be touched in some way. Lame as it sounds but I was listening to the song Quittin Time. It's about ending a relationship and in a way with what I feel that I'm watching and feeling myself, needless to day it applies.
Stupid rain and stupid period has made me this way tonight. Don't worry...I will be back to normal soon. Until then, can I just say that life is too short to not take a moment to maintain the wonderful things that drew you to someone special. Don't take advantage of a friends love...
Hey baby tell me what we're gonna do
It's getting crazy and I need some help from you
We were so connected that you were a part of me
Now I feel an emptiness right to the heart of me
But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time
Hey baby I'm running out of things to say
Please don't hate me this feeling just won't go away
Now we're spending all our time caught in a fantasy
Just trying to keep in mind the way it used to be
But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time
But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time
For the past few weeks I've been feeling so disconnected with some friends causing me to review our friendship. I keep trying to be understanding and positive, but there is just so much sunshine I can blow up my own ass. My back hurts and I don't really bend that way.
Tonight I was listening to Mary Chapin and thinking...she's one of those lady singers that you can't help but listen to and be touched in some way. Lame as it sounds but I was listening to the song Quittin Time. It's about ending a relationship and in a way with what I feel that I'm watching and feeling myself, needless to day it applies.
Stupid rain and stupid period has made me this way tonight. Don't worry...I will be back to normal soon. Until then, can I just say that life is too short to not take a moment to maintain the wonderful things that drew you to someone special. Don't take advantage of a friends love...
Hey baby tell me what we're gonna do
It's getting crazy and I need some help from you
We were so connected that you were a part of me
Now I feel an emptiness right to the heart of me
But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time
Hey baby I'm running out of things to say
Please don't hate me this feeling just won't go away
Now we're spending all our time caught in a fantasy
Just trying to keep in mind the way it used to be
But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time
But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time
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