Sunday, 5 February 2012

Lessons to Learn

I work with a lot of people who are younger then me.  I seem to do great with this since I'm such a late bloomer at everything I do...or don't do.  Most of the time I have a little fun with giving advice about the wonderful surprises that happens to a woman's body after 30 but I honesty feel that I should be giving real advice.

So, here is some real life lesson's I've learned that almost anyone can learn from.

1. Shaving.  
Ladies...don't shave something once thinking you won't be shaving that shit for the rest of your life.  And don't for one second think that it won't get worse when you hit your mid 30's.  Your 20 minutes to do legs and lady town will soon turn into 45 minutes and an empty hot water heater.  So...think before you shave.

2. Save your money. (Part one) 
This might be hard when you have your first place and want so many things.  There always seems to be that friend who has the perfect place with a silver spoon up her ass who has it all.  Don't feel like you have to keep up.  You will feel like you want to...but don't.  Save your money for something you really want and don't buy shit or for the moment or until something better comes along.  If you want a piece of furniture stalk it like the perfect man.  Save for it.  Don't take a store credit card out or let Mom and Dad buy it.  Why?  When you save and pay for it yourself, trust me, it's the best feeling ever.  It's yours on a level that no one can take away from you.  I saved for a year for my bed set.  I don't think I could ever give it up.  Even for a hot chick with a better one.

3. Friends (Part one) 
Maybe its because I am an only child but I do truly believe that friends can be your chosen family.  There are a few people in my life who I have loved and cried over because of how close they are to me.  That being said, accept people for who they are and don't expect them to fit in every aspect of your life.  Support them, love them and be there for them.  Expect the same.  Be honest with your friends, never in a hurtful way but don't hold it in when they piss you off.  Do not let a friend use the love you have for them to manipulate you.

4. Friends (Part two) Money.  
This is a hard one.  At some point, a friend will ask you for more money then paying for dinner or beer money.  If they ask you face to face...that took some balls and they may really need it.  Now, this is one of the hardest things ever.  Don't give them money.  Offer to feed them, develop a plan to get money, problem solve and give your time.  Once you start giving money and expecting it back (and we all expect it back in some form) then a seed of resentment will start.  If you can't say no or it's a dire situation then before you hand over any money, make a plan for repayment and set expectations.  Make sure the friend knows you mean business.  At the end of the day...don't expect it back.  It is after all your choice.

5.  Mr or Miss Perfect.  
Before I start this I do accept the fact that I am single and me giving love advice is like me giving diet advice.  That being said for most of my life I have been the one people come to with relationship problems or to vent.  I embrace this role and maybe this is why I feel that I can give some advice here.  That being said I have a few points to make.  
When you are looking for someone special or someone is looking for you don't be too quick to judge unless first impression is that they are a total dick.  Two things you have to remember if your looking for someone to spend a lot of time with that's going to turn into something serious.  Pick someone you can talk to...I don't just mean about your lady feelings and your day.  I mean about life, politics, shows, friends, work, food and hobbies.  It all.  You might have little in common but what is life without witty banter?  I don't mean fighting on opposite views but talking it out and having fun doing it.  The other thing you need to remember is to find someone you actually enjoy.  I don't mean you enjoy their dirty parts, their hair or they make you laugh...but you genuinely enjoy them and how they live their life.  When someone enjoys their life they bring so much more to your life.  It's great to be all into someone who is great looking and a great idea on paper, (good job, good hair, great car) but if they don't enjoy themselves and life, how are they going to appreciate and enjoy you.

6.  Kids.  
After years of wanting kids I made the choice last year not to have children.  I won't be adopting or picking the perfect donor.  I could do either but aside from age and money I have just started to really feel comfortable and love my life.  I love children and have children in my life that I get to watch grow up and love on like a crazy spinster aunt.  Women have this expectation and need to have children.  I totally get that and unlike men we don't have an unlimited ball sack of sperm just waiting for a goal.  I also get that you can have a wonderful full and rewarding life without kids.  I believe in having kids in your life to give both parents and kids a break and to remind yourself how to be a kid again.  Kids need that as much as parents.  So take a kid out for something fun, love them and talk to them like little people giving them another perspective on life.  If you can, don't jump into having kids until you are 100% sure you are as ready as you can be and always remember that kids are to be guided and not forced.  

7.  Sex.  Glad you all just woke back up and snapped to attention.  
Now, we all have heard the saying that every group of friends has a slut in the mix.  If you can't think of one...your it.  That is very true.  Of course my advice would always be don't be the one wants to be known as the slut.  My 2nd piece would be to learn from this person.  I mean it.  Watch and listen to the slut.  Listen to the stupid regret from banging a guy she didn't know without a condom, calling an ex expecting more then sex and sleeping with a guys friend to get back at him for saying no to her.  There are tons of stories we have all heard over the years.  Now, I'm not saying don't go out and sleep with someone if you want to.  Your (god willing) and adult.  What I am saying is we all make mistakes, don't whine and cry about doing some one and it not being what you expected when you don't give it more then 5 minutes to figure out to expect less.  
Now, we all make what I like to call "errors in judgement".  I myself have had one or two.  One was about 15 or so years ago and was on my bus this week.  We dated for two months.  Over the years I have moved like a ninja to avoid any contact with this girl but on the bus as she sat behind I talked to a friend who I was more then thrilled to see.  After we both got off the bus I bolted and remembered our brief time together so many years ago.  I found myself feeling gross all day and it was all I could do to get home that night and wash up.  I don't judge this woman but myself for not thinking 15 or so years ago.
I don't want to mention the double standard that a guy can sleep with lots of girl and be a stud.  But I do think of it this way.  Guys just stick it anywhere.  Women...we make the choice to let someone in.  (Litterally)  So, it's your choice who you let in and in a way, they will always leave a little something.  Even 15 years later...itchy vagina.

8.  Bitch.  Don't be one.
Sometimes you have to be tough but don't be a c word or a bitch just to prove you can be.  Be the bigger person.  Trust me, at the end of the day the bitch who was a c word to you will be embarassed for being a twat more then you will be proud to be a bitch.

That's all I have to say right now about life.  I'm not saying I'm right at all about anything here.  But I can't be all wrong.