Saturday, 31 December 2011

A sign...

New Years Eve.  I wasn't going to blog tonight.  Mostly because who's the lame chick who is sitting at home alone in her pink and black checked PJ pants listening to a mix of music from Jann Arden to Kenny Rogers drinking diet coke.  Yes Shaun, I know all the words of Islands in the Stream and don't pretend you don't either.  

So I have been all about going with my gut and seeing where life is pointing me the last month or so.  It's been nice to put my energy to new places.  In February I am doing some life coach Womyn on Womyn thing (no one will be going down on me so...) where women provide life coaching and help reaching a goal.  It's 50 bucks for 13 weeks and to be honest it's basically free considering if I was to pay some professional bitch to listen to me rant about my issues it would be really pricey.  (I know the lunch room at work is free Katherine...still.)

Anyway, there have been many signs for the longest time for me to deal with my weight.  I've had chances and looked the other way.  I'm not going to get really deep on this because no one needs that but I was thinking today that if life were a series of movies I would be the supportive fat best friend.  Think about it.  They have the best jokes, blend in the background until they are needed for some comic relief and then back they go.  This has been my life.  I think back as far as public school and that was me.  Best Friend in a Supporting Role.  Now that I think about things...I have hidden in that role for years and been far too comfortable in it.

So aside from gaining weight I lost and the usual weight loss I keep getting signs.  Let's list them off.  (Get a drink Katherine)  I'm missing some but these are newish and what I can remember.

1.  Idea to not eat meat for a month.  During the no meat time...I felt better.
2.  Super Size me movie gave me a good scare about fast food.
3.  Ricardo told me to watch Food Inc.  Changed my view of meat and how we view our food and such.
4.  Co-worker gave me the movie Forks over Knives.  This could be a blog on it's own but in a long and short of it they didn't bash treatment of animals but the proof that eating a meat and animal product free diet works wonders on your system and can reverse some bad effects of a diet with meat.  Fun nerd fact about me, I love anything WW2.  There were some statistics about Norway and the Nazi's that made me pay attention.  This was my hook.
5.  Ordered the book from Forks over Knives and got major support from friend about a change.

This last one is a piss your pants kind of WTF sign.  So a student who used to work with us is on my FB and thinks I'm great.  So she and her partner wanted to set up a friendship with a co-worker friend and I.  I creep this person on FB and find that she looks like someone but I can't place it.  Then after messaging with my friend she reminds me.  She was on a low budget Canadian weight loss show that I watched every episode of.'s a bit of a weirdo sign but come on!  If people from Canadian weight loss shows are coming into my life...fucking sign!

So be ready for hardcore Rhonda in the new year.  Going to be eating about 90% less meat and almost nothing from animals.  I know...I'm not saying it will be perfect but I've got some huge plans for the rest of my life.  I'm guessing the next 6 months will start with me being a huge cranky bitch wishing she could eat bacon every second...but after that we could be good??

Here is to not looking back and judging ourselves too harshly.  


Saturday, 17 December 2011

Time of year...

I really used to love Christmas and all the stuff that went with it.  The tree, food, family and friends.  To be honest, getting stuff was a good deal too.  I don't know fully when that changed.  I think maybe when my Nana died.  She was fun at Christmas.  I remember spending Christmas eve with her to put the turkey in late for her.  It was that fuckin huge and heavy.  Nana could cook the shit out of a turkey and make roasted potatoes that should have been put on a food show with chef's asking in a very over dramatic way "How does she do that?"  I've tried to roast a potato the way she did...not even close.

The last few years I've been overwhelmed with getting my parents (who do a ton for me all year round) the right gifts.  That never fuckin works out.  This year...
Ok, so my mother hinted to me she and Dad wanted a good coffee maker with a thermos so they could take it downstairs.  So, off I go and get a 100 dollar one at Walmart.  Can I just say I don't even drink coffee due to the scoots.  Anyway, then I see a better one 50 bones cheaper at the Bay online.  So I get that one also thinking I would take the Walmart one back.  Then I am in a store telling my mom about this amazing TV deal and she tells me that she and my father got themselves a new coffee maker when they went to the states.  I've never wanted to punch her in the face more.  "I didn't think you would get us one," was her response to that.  "Well Ma, I've got you two so far."  This is so going to effect me changing their diapers.

I'm not a great shopper.  I hate it.  I can find great things for myself and to be honest I do pick a few things up for myself this time of year.  I got myself a super mega awesome deal on a big screen TV that I will tell anyone about if they move slowly enough.  I was due to get a TV that was a good size and didn't make a loud buzz when it was on.

This year, well I've not been close with the kids in my life.  That could have something do with my mood this year.  Due to "life" the last month has been very hard but also opened my eyes to this next phase of my life.  

Just between us I'm a little worried about the new year.  I've signed up for this free women on women (spelled extra lesbian womyn) course in February.  I wish it was some hard core once a week rug munching but sadly its a life coaching thing.  I know...sounds lame but I think having someone to account for my "self work" would be good.  I'd still rather have my rug munched.

I have a nasty cold right now so many that is making me all sassy tonight.  Who knows.  All I do now is that right now I'm far to content being alone.  I did put up a little tree and am addicted to the fire place channel.  Sitting on the sofa with a book petting my cat (not vagina) seems to be all I want to do.

I'm guessing I will blog more this week...

Monday, 5 December 2011

My Vagina

Maybe it's my period but today I'm home sick.  I almost fainted so I opted to stay home and be gross here.  I was thinking about the book The Vagina Monologues today.  Not sure exactly why that popped in my head but I'm sure it had something to do with my own vagina who's being a total C word right now.  Anyway, I read most of the book a long time ago and there was a part or two asking about your vagina's personality.  "If your vagina could talk what would it say?"  "If your vagina could get dressed what would it wear?"  WTF?  I get that it's to empower women about their sexuality, much like those weird parties in the 70's and 80's where you squatted over a mirror and took a look at old Tootsie Bell.  I wonder how many of our Mom's went to those "Tupperware" parties?  

Let me just say that I've not been to University and I don't have a big psychology degree but I am a that kind of makes me an expert on Vagina Studies.  I am also an expert at being a woman...and we all have our issues.  I don't get why giving your vagina her own personality and issues is helpful.  Then you have two women (unless you have given your vagina a man personality) with body issues.  Lets talk about having a vagina with a man personality.  Think about a straight guy.  He may have some body issues but honestly he's so fuckin happy to get laid he keeps that to himself and just goes for it.  I can honestly remember feeling not so bad about 10 years ago and doing the same once or twice.  (There was this baseball was lesbian heaven.)  Anyway, now I've actually turned away from advances due to body issues.  I don't need to stand over a mirror to get some self esteem back either, *shivers* we are way past that.

I am thinking the older I get the more accepting I get.  I remember being 25 with a huge long list of the things Miss Right Now should have.  The list was long and impossible for any one to hit more then 5 things on it.  These days my list is down to breathing and employed.  I'm starting to think employed is asking a bit too much.  Maybe living off a good package or at the top of the EI amount?  I'm about ready to take anyone.  

That brings us back to my vagina.  Much like my own alias my vagina's name is Robin.  She's a shy girl who hates long hair, pants and salad.  She is an introvert looking for someone special to bust in and shake things up.  (Not literally Shaun).  I think if she could talk she would say "Stop looking at me."  As for what she would wear.  Shorts, sandals and one of the T-shirt attached.  

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Bad Ass

You totally know your a bad ass when you air guitar to Mary Chapin Carpenter.  Yeah...that is how I'm spending my Sunday night.  In my defence I have my

For the past few weeks I've been feeling so disconnected with some friends causing me to review our friendship.  I keep trying to be understanding and positive, but there is just so much sunshine I can blow up my own ass.  My back hurts and I don't really bend that way.  

Tonight I was listening to Mary Chapin and thinking...she's one of those lady singers that you can't help but listen to and be touched in some way.  Lame as it sounds but I was listening to the song Quittin Time.  It's about ending a relationship and in a way with what I feel that I'm watching and feeling myself, needless to day it applies.

Stupid rain and stupid period has made me this way tonight.  Don't worry...I will be back to normal soon.  Until then, can I just say that life is too short to not take a moment to maintain the wonderful things that drew you to someone special.  Don't take advantage of a friends love...

Hey baby tell me what we're gonna do
It's getting crazy and I need some help from you
We were so connected that you were a part of me
Now I feel an emptiness right to the heart of me

But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time

Hey baby I'm running out of things to say
Please don't hate me this feeling just won't go away
Now we're spending all our time caught in a fantasy
Just trying to keep in mind the way it used to be

But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time

But you pretend and I pretend
That everything is fine
And though we should be at an end
It's so hard admittin'
When it's quittin' time