Sunday, 23 October 2011

Sad News

As some of you know from my previous blogs I am rather attached to my neck pillow Martha and my between the knee pillow Ruth Ann.  Sadly, Ruth Ann and I have ended things and for the low price of 20 dollars I have now replaced both her and my hug pillow (Vicky).  I am please to welcome Large Marge to my bed.  She's the biggest body pillow I have ever seen in my life and tonight I will look forward to figuring out how to get to know her.  I hope she helps both my lower back and my need for a good cuddle.  If not...I guess I will beg Ruth Ann and Vicky for a 2nd chance.


Saturday, 22 October 2011

Book Sale Deep Thoughts

I don't know where this blog is going and clearly I'm not great at updating it right now but today I was thinking and it came around to body issues.

Little back story.  So yesterday after work I went to the yearly friends of the library book sale and found a Carpenters Biography.  Now, I don't need judgement right now but I love all things Carpenters.  I really do.  The only Christmas album I will listen to is the Carpenters and on occation (maybe like now) I put on my Carpenters mix and belt out some songs alone in my house.  Now, say what you will about the corny sappy tunes of this slightly creepy brother and sister but Karen Carpenter had a voice that really can't be matched.  If you listen hard enough and give it a chance she makes it sound effortless.  It got me thinking today.

So I was on the bowl reading my new to be Carpenters Biography following intently as the author tried to tie anything to why she got an eating disorder.  I remember watching a bad made for TV movie and tied in with the book remember someone calling her the chubby little sister.  I got to thinking that it doesn't matter how great you are at something...if you don't have the right look it's just shit. 

I'm guessing no one reading this is a semi closeted Carpenters fan like me so you might want to stop reading now.  For those of you who are or have any understanding I was thinking if Karen had of gotten some help soon and lived, well the Carpenters would have been fucked.  Their music was really a snap shot of a time that was craving something other then crazy 70's music.  Not many people from the 70's lasted very long and I really don't think they would have either.  Chances are they would have done sappy albums, bad tours and by 2011 would be working the seniors home crowd.  I'm fairly sure they would be hated.  I guess maybe in a sick way it was for the best.

Weirdest topic so far.  I know.  Still, I dare anyone to listen to Rainy Days and Mondays and not admit you have never felt what that song is saying.  Without the depressing sax solo.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Back on the bone

That title is for that special man out there who loves a good bag.  ;-)

Well we can assume one thing from me eating meat again, I totally dropped the ball on this blog.  I did get busy and had an amazing weekend.  Maybe it was the Ikea high or a slight meat high...either way I'm back.

So Sunday I was family free so I put pants on and enjoyed a beautiful drive to Ikea where I made many purchases.  I kind of cock blocked Ry Ry (to protect the innocent) and after talking him into getting red sheets I jumped on his doubt at the check out and purchased them for myself.  I also got a side sleeper pillow I call Martha.  Since I'm getting older I needed Martha to balance out Ruth Anne who sleeps between my knees to balance out my spine.  I hope they grow to be fast friends.

My first meat...well it was a tiny bit of bacon on the top of some potato skins before I moved on to a buffalo chicken sandwich that I got covered in honey garlic.  Was amazing.  The bun was a bit much so after 2 bits I just ate the meat.  Was very good and worth the wait.  I can't wait to have honey garlic wings.  Anyway, the next day I cooked for Rex, (lets call him that since is more manly) we had a stuffed turkey breast that I then put bacon on top of.  Now, if you have never done this...your a ball washer and really need to give it a shot.  Amazing extra flavor to the turkey.  Do it!  People really need to get in touch with their inner Paula Deen.  I want her to cook for me, then rub my back while reading to me until I fall asleep.  Nothing sexual...ish.

So since being back on the meat I've not over done it or anything.  I've had a chicken salad sandwich.  Last night I didn't crave meat at all.  I know!  I figured the first week I'd be dry humping a cow.  I'm not even trying to heavy pet a fish.  I was shocked at my own lack of interest in meat.  Seriously.  I still have bacon in the fridge and have not made a Murirhondonator.  

Murirhondonator:  A breakfast sandwich named for Murial Harris and Rhonda Bates consisting of bacon and a slightly runny egg.  On on piece of toast you have ketchup and on the other a skim coat of jam.  Salty and sweet.  

This sandwich could explain my less then slim figure...but it made my Nana happy when we created it.  ;-)

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Day 30

Tomorrow I get meat!  I'm excited.  I'm more excited to go to Ikea but I'm also preparing myself for the meat and what it could do to my newly cleaned out system.  So, being anal retentive I've found my murse and am packing it with imodium, advil (for my bad feet) and reading materials so my little meat brother does not leave me by the side of the road for talking too much.

I will do my best to take pictures of my first meat experience but it might happen very quickly.  Kind of a one shot deal.  Like a boys first time.  I imagine that happens really fast until they learn to go over baseball stats in their heads right??

Is it weird that I want to go to bed so early?  My mother already called to say she's having an awkward time away.  I now don't feel guilty about my choice to do my own thing.  Sometimes you have to be selfish with yourself.  It's also a bit of a protection thing with me but I am very happy to do my own thing. 

Off I go.  I spa'd up and shaved the legs.  A girl makes better time when you shave your legs.

Friday, 7 October 2011

Day 29

There were several times I never thought I would get to Day 29.  So glad.  Going into this long weekend I'm super tired from a long slow day at work.  It was so quiet.  Also the office didn't smell like that was a good deal.  ;-)

I'm more then ready to sleep in tomorrow (after I let Fred in) and I hope it's past 7 am.  I seriously can't wait.  I also am thrilled to not be taking the cotton pony to Ikea on Sunday.  I don't think I would go if I was...then again I also think women should get a tax break if they have a period.  That shit gets expensive!  This would be why I get excited when Shoppers busts out with a tampon sale.

I'm really all over tonight.  I'm semi focused on telling my cousin, who I love that I won't be going to Thanksgiving thus missing meeting her new baby.  I'm trying to either think of a good excuse or how to say "I'm not fucking impressed with this family right now" but in a nice way.  Not sure how to clean that up but if anyone can...I can.

P.S.  After my most amazing dinner last night I had the most amazing meat free reading time in the bathroom this morning.  I don't want to be graphic...but I was doing my Stayin Alive strut to the bus stop.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Day 28

Fuck!  Now that I am down to the wire I go and make maybe the best dinner yet.  Green peppers, onion and mushroom on a super fresh bun with cheese.  Was amazing!  I would have loved chicken on it but it was still super great!  I was very impressed with myself since I was the only one here cooking...with my pants off.

I really need to close some windows.  My before bed shower will be a warm one then I will be extra cold on the run to bed.  I am really tired and slightly cranky at my family right now.  Not in the full mood to get into it but I feel invisible in my own family.  I can't help but notice when people want something they see you enough to kiss your ass.  This is how I'm feeling right now.  I think I need to start being more selfish with myself.  There are some kick ass things I want to do but somehow I end up supporting every other "team".  Team Rhonda needs a boost...and some big titty cheerleaders. 

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Day 27

I really need to stop biting my nails.  I have tiny hands (Cory) to begin with and my lack of finger nails makes my tiny hands look even smaller.  Long nails scare me (think about it) and women with the big fake nails really make me laugh sometimes.  Have you ever looked under them? Yellow...after about 3 days they get this dirty look to them.  I have a friend who is very beautiful, however she's this model of too much woman.  Big boobs, tight tops, fake nails, big hair and the high heels that has to carry it all.  This is a woman who put off her divorce for almost a year to get laser hair removal...for her impending dating life.  Brilliant.  Somehow she never seems happy.  Men use her, women friends can't relate to her and no one she works with takes her seriously.  For someone who looks so good in her skin I don't think she's been comfortable in it for years.

That shit was deep.  Day 27 and I'm getting into my deep thoughts about life and being comfortable with yourself.  I wonder if anyone is really comfortable?  I'm not, I'm just old enough to accept that I may never be comfortable or happy in my own skin.  And that is OK.  I was saying to my "sister ish in law" last night that the older I get the happier I am.  That is very true since at this point in my life, I've never been happier.  I'm old enough to appreciate the quiet around my house, clean towels that smell a little like bleach and when a friend makes the time to call me to talk.  I think in your 20's you take things like this for granted...maybe because you think those things will always be there.  I think if you have kids those things may never happen again.

I was a bit bitchy at work today.  I didn't feel like eating anything without meat in it.  Anything that was suggested was shot down in a blaze of glory (get that out of your head Katherine) and I became more and more cranky.  I wanted a BLT with no L or T, then I wanted chicken salad.  Then a burger.  In then end I had a bagel and yogurt.  Homo move but it was all I had at the time for by the time I was done being a full on bitch.  ;-S

Fun fact, the drummer that lived in my basement for over a year got his water shut off so is now showering in his old bathroom in the basement.  Fred seems confused as to why Mom let a man in the house who was not Grandpa.  He knows the score...

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Day 26

It's going to be really short.  Came home to cat vomit and poop. 

I can't wait for the weekend.  For the meat but also to do something fun for thanksgiving.

ARG!  The cat is freaking out.

I wish I was making pussy jokes and not cat talk.

Monday, 3 October 2011

Day 25

Five more days!  Amazing!  I can't wait.  I almost don't know what to do with myself and my thoughts of meat.  What meat to have first?  Bacon I think. 

I have noticed changes this week.  My period was late (sorry guys and Shaun) and do not make anyone vomit, different.  I've cried about nothing more then usual but was thinking this morning that my lack of other animal hormones have made mine a little more excited.  Also, my bathroom time has changed.  More often and less...well...heavy?  Tomorrow I'm taking my own food to my nephews birthday dinner and then I hope to get home at a reasonable time.  I plan on taking rice, brussel sprouts and some turnip.  ;-) You do the math on that.  ;-S  Yes, I fart all the time now.  Almost constantly...well...semi constantly.  I don't recall this many farts on meat.

I don't know what to do when this is done.  Should and keep blogging or maybe pick something new?  What could I do for 30 days next?? 

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Day 24

Shaun, look away.  I got my period today.  Finally.  So that and the cold rainy weather made me a hot mess of lady hormones, cravings and general anger that comes with being a lady.  I wanted a hot meal today...the kind that when you bring the meat out everyone goes "Aww...Wow....Fuck me that looks good!"  I had a bunch of fall veggies and rice...was ok but lacked the wow factor of a big hunk of animal out of the oven.

I also don't have chocolate and am semi glad I'm not working downtown tomorrow.  Sorry Katherine but I can run next door and get chocolate as well as sit in the bathroom and cry about commercials, my toes and crying in general.  Downtown someone always catches me. can look back again. 

Next weekend I'm going to Ikea and have already planned finding out the name of the restaurant in Burlington that grills everything.  I would touch an old man's nut sack for some well done grilled pineapple right now...wrapped in bacon.  I hope that's an option.  My mother makes the best bacon wrapped scallops in the world by the way.  My friend Shane gets them in restaurants and since he has had my mothers about 4 times now he says she does them the best.  I can't stop thinking about bacon today.

Fun fact about me when I'm on my period is that one day a month I'm hot for men.  Not any men or a few men but really attractive manly semi hairy men.  One in particular I would fly to England for!  Shaun and straight girls who like semi hairy men, this would be a good time to open another browser.  The gays got me into this rugby player named Ben Cohen.  I was telling a co worker earlier I would break that shit off.  Today is the day that he and anyone who looked just like him would have an in...if you know what I'm saying.  Weird I know.  It's just for today that I'm like this.  Tomorrow I will be talking about my period, chocolate and moose track ice cream. 

Saturday, 1 October 2011

Day 23

Who am I?  Today I bought a new veggie slicer thing.  I sort of have the same kind that never gets used but this new one is Padero.  I love Paderno, it's my pot addiction.  I have more pieces of Paderno then I can count but yet again today I jumped at the chance to get a new veggie slicer.  I don't know if it's my new life style or the fact that it's Paderno.  Maybe all this semi healthy eating is actually rubbing off on me??

I feel much better about the dog situation from last night.  Fred is more then enough for me at this point and lets be honest, he's a handful.  I don't know if I should warn the new people about his passion for crapping in flower beds and jumping from roof to roof.  It would be a nice surprise for them I guess.  ;-)

Next weekend I get to eat meat.  I don't know what to have first...or at all.  I do honestly feel semi better.  I feel slightly more energetic during the day and my mind is clear in a way it wasn't before.  I can focus more.  Yes, sometimes all I focus on is meat but still.

I was talking to someone today about the Swiss Chalet chicken channel.  I was thinking that I must be doing very good with my lack of meat eating since I have yet to turn that channel on, dim the lights and be alone with myself.  ;-S