Shaun, look away. I got my period today. Finally. So that and the cold rainy weather made me a hot mess of lady hormones, cravings and general anger that comes with being a lady. I wanted a hot meal today...the kind that when you bring the meat out everyone goes "Aww...Wow....Fuck me that looks good!" I had a bunch of fall veggies and rice...was ok but lacked the wow factor of a big hunk of animal out of the oven.
I also don't have chocolate and am semi glad I'm not working downtown tomorrow. Sorry Katherine but I can run next door and get chocolate as well as sit in the bathroom and cry about commercials, my toes and crying in general. Downtown someone always catches me. Shaun...you can look back again.
Next weekend I'm going to Ikea and have already planned finding out the name of the restaurant in Burlington that grills everything. I would touch an old man's nut sack for some well done grilled pineapple right now...wrapped in bacon. I hope that's an option. My mother makes the best bacon wrapped scallops in the world by the way. My friend Shane gets them in restaurants and since he has had my mothers about 4 times now he says she does them the best. I can't stop thinking about bacon today.
Fun fact about me when I'm on my period is that one day a month I'm hot for men. Not any men or a few men but really attractive manly semi hairy men. One in particular I would fly to England for! Shaun and straight girls who like semi hairy men, this would be a good time to open another browser. The gays got me into this rugby player named Ben Cohen. I was telling a co worker earlier I would break that shit off. Today is the day that he and anyone who looked just like him would have an in...if you know what I'm saying. Weird I know. It's just for today that I'm like this. Tomorrow I will be talking about my period, chocolate and moose track ice cream.