Wednesday 5 October 2011

Day 27

I really need to stop biting my nails.  I have tiny hands (Cory) to begin with and my lack of finger nails makes my tiny hands look even smaller.  Long nails scare me (think about it) and women with the big fake nails really make me laugh sometimes.  Have you ever looked under them? Yellow...after about 3 days they get this dirty look to them.  I have a friend who is very beautiful, however she's this model of too much woman.  Big boobs, tight tops, fake nails, big hair and the high heels that has to carry it all.  This is a woman who put off her divorce for almost a year to get laser hair removal...for her impending dating life.  Brilliant.  Somehow she never seems happy.  Men use her, women friends can't relate to her and no one she works with takes her seriously.  For someone who looks so good in her skin I don't think she's been comfortable in it for years.

That shit was deep.  Day 27 and I'm getting into my deep thoughts about life and being comfortable with yourself.  I wonder if anyone is really comfortable?  I'm not, I'm just old enough to accept that I may never be comfortable or happy in my own skin.  And that is OK.  I was saying to my "sister ish in law" last night that the older I get the happier I am.  That is very true since at this point in my life, I've never been happier.  I'm old enough to appreciate the quiet around my house, clean towels that smell a little like bleach and when a friend makes the time to call me to talk.  I think in your 20's you take things like this for granted...maybe because you think those things will always be there.  I think if you have kids those things may never happen again.

I was a bit bitchy at work today.  I didn't feel like eating anything without meat in it.  Anything that was suggested was shot down in a blaze of glory (get that out of your head Katherine) and I became more and more cranky.  I wanted a BLT with no L or T, then I wanted chicken salad.  Then a burger.  In then end I had a bagel and yogurt.  Homo move but it was all I had at the time for by the time I was done being a full on bitch.  ;-S

Fun fact, the drummer that lived in my basement for over a year got his water shut off so is now showering in his old bathroom in the basement.  Fred seems confused as to why Mom let a man in the house who was not Grandpa.  He knows the score...

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