Monday, 5 December 2011

My Vagina

Maybe it's my period but today I'm home sick.  I almost fainted so I opted to stay home and be gross here.  I was thinking about the book The Vagina Monologues today.  Not sure exactly why that popped in my head but I'm sure it had something to do with my own vagina who's being a total C word right now.  Anyway, I read most of the book a long time ago and there was a part or two asking about your vagina's personality.  "If your vagina could talk what would it say?"  "If your vagina could get dressed what would it wear?"  WTF?  I get that it's to empower women about their sexuality, much like those weird parties in the 70's and 80's where you squatted over a mirror and took a look at old Tootsie Bell.  I wonder how many of our Mom's went to those "Tupperware" parties?  

Let me just say that I've not been to University and I don't have a big psychology degree but I am a that kind of makes me an expert on Vagina Studies.  I am also an expert at being a woman...and we all have our issues.  I don't get why giving your vagina her own personality and issues is helpful.  Then you have two women (unless you have given your vagina a man personality) with body issues.  Lets talk about having a vagina with a man personality.  Think about a straight guy.  He may have some body issues but honestly he's so fuckin happy to get laid he keeps that to himself and just goes for it.  I can honestly remember feeling not so bad about 10 years ago and doing the same once or twice.  (There was this baseball was lesbian heaven.)  Anyway, now I've actually turned away from advances due to body issues.  I don't need to stand over a mirror to get some self esteem back either, *shivers* we are way past that.

I am thinking the older I get the more accepting I get.  I remember being 25 with a huge long list of the things Miss Right Now should have.  The list was long and impossible for any one to hit more then 5 things on it.  These days my list is down to breathing and employed.  I'm starting to think employed is asking a bit too much.  Maybe living off a good package or at the top of the EI amount?  I'm about ready to take anyone.  

That brings us back to my vagina.  Much like my own alias my vagina's name is Robin.  She's a shy girl who hates long hair, pants and salad.  She is an introvert looking for someone special to bust in and shake things up.  (Not literally Shaun).  I think if she could talk she would say "Stop looking at me."  As for what she would wear.  Shorts, sandals and one of the T-shirt attached.  

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