A few weeks back I had to do a presentation at work about Stress in the work place. I like to think that I was chosen to do this because I was handling my impending unemployment so well that I was going to be an example of calm, cool and collected. The reality is that tomorrow I am done working at the best job I’ve ever had. How can I not be stressed and a little sad?
Today I had a full one hour massage and after 15 minutes of chat at the beginning I managed to zone right out for 20 ish minutes. I didn’t talk, didn’t think and just enjoyed my ultra tense muscles being gently stretched out. Toward the end of my zone out I began thinking of the things I’ve not done lately that release my stress. I realized I’ve kind of lost myself with so much going on the last few months and now the stress of job loss has made me wound tighter then Lindsay Lohan in front of a pile of coke. I don’t know what to do first!
A friend reminded me how much I have been though the last 6 months. Diabetes, break up, friendship ending, huge job stress, new relationship, new dog and now a job that I love ending. It’s been a lot to think about and really I’ve semi jumped from one thing to the other without a lot of processing time. As an introvert I do need my time to really process things. Maybe having some forced time off is the lords way of saying, “get it together and take care of yourself.”
Basement Girl encouraged me to make a list of things I needed to do and wanted to do during my time off. I have tons of things I need to be doing around the house and the high light being painting my bedroom which needs to be swanked up badly. Then there is a good friend in the hospital to see, my father to spend time with, tea with a very connected friend and all the job searching.
I have a lot of people wanting to help me with anything really, all I have to do is ask. Right now I just need to figure out going from working without a vacation all year to having time off. From seeing great people every day to spending days on end possibly with just Fred and Norman Earl. The one thing I do know is that it felt good to write a little something. I really needed to turn back on my creativity.