Not sure why I’ve not blogged more. I’m off work and don’t really have anything big going on. To say I’m bored is a bit of an understatement. The fridge has been scrubbed out, laundry is almost always fully up to date and this week I had 7 bags of garbage. I do have some big projects I could be doing, like painting my bedroom and doing a huge almost a hoarder clean out of my basement and storage area upstairs. Today, it’s not going to happen.
It’s 3 pm and I’ve yet to shower or nap. Yes, I nap almost daily and you would think that would be very high on my list of things to do today since it’s cold and rainy. Instead I listened to music, took almost 4 hours to do my cover letter for a job at work, talked for an hour on the phone with a friend, emptied the dishwasher, bleached the counter tops and thought about what to make for date night dinner. I should feel unemployed tired. Instead I feel restless. I don’t know what I want to do, but I know I have a lot to do.
Christmas often does that to me. I like to kind of hibernate around this time of year, staying out of the way of people who love to run around shopping and hitting every sale. I do enjoy watching them run around making everything perfect for those who either expect more and more of people like me who just don’t get it. I remember when it was about spending time together and maybe making the time to do something fun, not spending hours in a mall finding what we think is the perfect gift only to be disappointed with the reaction that doesn’t match the one we had in our heads. I know, I sound like a cynical bitch but I do have a leg to stand on.
I don’t feel this way because I’ve not showered and smell a little like last night’s Christmas party chicken wings and BO. I am a people watcher by nature. I have spent the better part of my life watching people in many situations and how they try so hard only to disappoint themselves. This year I can’t really afford much of anything for my parents. That disappoints me but I’ve managed to realize that the 20 seconds it takes my parents to open a gift could mean something has to give around the house. Besides, what do you give people who can go out and get whatever they want or need? Every year I get more and more frustrated with what to get the old people. Honestly, if I was rich I could ship them off on a cruise or some golf adventure. But slippers and chocolate it is. They will be fine with it, however when your parents have done so much for you and your friends over the years slippers don’t cut it.
I suppose I should loose this funk by Christmas. By the funk I mean my mood and not the cheesy smell that hit me when I raised my arm to scratch my head.