I think my body is craving healthy
food. I have felt sick for the last day
with dry heaves and a little puke here and there. Puke is not great for the diabetes as it
messes royally with your sugars so I need to learn a little about that via the
good people at google. Anyway, my “holiday”
has been great as far as food has gone.
I have fallen so far off the meat wagon that my body might shut down the
next time it sees kale. Too little too
late? Anyway, I feel gross. I love my mothers cooking. Now that I’ve had to fen for myself for so
long I would not mind if she wanted to come here and cook for me all the
time. If I didn’t gain weight over
it. That woman missed her calling. She makes gravy that will make your heart
sing. I love when she stirs the pot (literally)
and turns to me with a sly grin and says “It’s just like pudding.” That’s when you know it’s going to be good.
I had a hard time getting out of
bed today. Fred came in at five but
after that the alarm went off at 6:30 for half an hour before I could get out
of bed to get Norman fed and out. Down
the street we went until he did his usual 3 tootsie roll poop. When we turned back for home I noticed our
foot prints. Mine and his alone in the fresh snow. Despite holding back the urge to vomit, it
was one of the sweetest moments I’ve had with him. Just him and I walking in the snow, big feet
and tiny feet. There is something to be
said for that. Having someone to depend
on me. I think people with kids take
that for granted sometimes. I don’t have
kids so for the next however long Fred and Norman Earl are it for me as far as
keeping me grounded.
I’ve struggled a lot this holiday
season with not working. It makes me
feel a little lost in what I want for the rest of my life. I’ve missed writing both the blog and
jokes. I need to do both if only for
myself but to keep my foot in the door with being creative. We all have our things I guess. I don’t think I could spend much time with
someone who didn’t have a passion for something creative. I can’t see someone really wanting to spend
time with someone so introverted who needed the space to create and look inward
so much. It’s frustrating for a lot of
people who maybe don’t share the same interest.
People seem interested in the end product like the fun blog or a well
written joke but the struggle to get there isn’t that fun. It’s not easy putting pen to paper...or
sitting here half nude trying to organize a million thoughts into one or two
things to write about.
I sometimes wonder if I can
balance my mind and my life into actually producing something worth reading for
the general public. My English sucks but
since I was about 13 I’ve had outlines of characters and stories that I have
wanted to write. I outline whole plots
and then move on to the next story idea.
I bet if I could focus I could be on my 10th book by
now. Every story contains something I
find fascinating and want to learn more about.
One is set with a family running a generational funeral home, a reporter
who leaves her husband to pursue her dream job and of course being such a
Dallas fan a huge sweeping series of a very large rich dysfunctional family. I picture that one being a made for tv series
with all the drama of Dallas with a splash of Days of Our lives.
Anyway, I’m gross today and thank
god for pets who sleep all day. Chances
are I will finish the book my mom loaned me for Christmas and start another
one. As I read on the toilet I will be
thinking about maybe someday someone with the mad scoots sitting on the toilet
reading a book I wrote to pass the time.
I hope they get lost in it and get hemorrhoids or anal ripping from it
being that good.
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