Thursday, 2 May 2013

Salad Days

So I had four salads this weekend and feel like I could be dying.  This healthy life style is for the birds, well I think birds are even eating meat and garbage thanks to this world.  I guess I wish I was a bird right now.  Wrap a worm in bacon and I’d eat it right now.  Seriously. 

Friday night was date night so we went to the works.  Aside from the steam rollers that are the most amazing things ever created I gor a veggie burger with pineapple and brie cheese.  The sweet and sour sauce that comes with it might be the stickiest yet most amazing thing ever.  I also got onion rings that can never go wrong.  The best I have ever had in my life.  So that was my send off into a new healthy lifestyle.  After that it has been juicing and healthy salads.  Needless to say I’m hungry.

Saturday morning I spent about 40 bucks at the market on fruit and veggies.  Then another 30 at the grocery store on other things I needed.  Nothing was processed by the way.  I didn’t go up and down the isles for anything that didn’t come from dirt of some sort.  Hardfuckingcore I know but things do need to change in this little girls life.  I don’t mind eating healthy…it’s just not what I’m  use to really.  How awful is that?  When I think about how easy it is to eat processed food it’s clear why so many people struggle with weight and health issues.  When I started here I discovered Wendy’s loaded baked potatoes.  Sweet mother of baby lord Jesus!  First of all anything covered with that fake melted 7/11 nacho cheese from my high school days is amazing.  *I once when to this amazing mall in the states with Mike and Johnny and found a dive restaurant where they had that and would put it on anything.  I had fries smothered with it and a hot dog.*  Anyway, so with the amazing cheese you can get broccoli (lame) or bacon.  My choice was clear and easy.  I’ve had a few of them.  The last potato was clealy made by a teen boy who loves bacon.  I had a layer of bacon, then cheese then bacon.  Bless his little heart.  I don’t know him but I love him.  It was amazing.  I sat at my desk eating thinking I was being massaged from the inside out with love.  Dirty and gross but it felt that amazing.  It was warm and wonderful. 

I love a hot meal.  It’s how I was raised.  You come home and have a hot filling meal.  If you didn’t your mother didn’t love you and was a whore.  Needless to say Debbie makes a mean hot meal that has been enjoyed by many people over the years.  I wish my parents were more interesting but I was fed with love so thanks for that.  These days I have fed myself for many reasons.  Boredom, celebration, defeat, Wednesdays, friends, coupons and love.  Don’t we all.  I have a million reasons why I’ve celebrated things with food.  I just picked the main ones to illustrate my point on how my health got so bad.  I remember looking back when I was unhappy or unsure in a relationship I tended to eat a little more in my effort to comfort myself and to try and push the other person away.  Sadly both never worked. 

So I’m counting down the minutes until I get to eat.  I smell a few lunches around the office but nothing too amazing yet.  The school connected to the office hasn’t cooked anything that has smelled up the building in days so there is something.  My first month here was filled with smells of garlic and what I am guessing was good hot meals.  If I was more ballsy I would demand a hot plate for home.  I live alone fuckers!  Today I was wondering if they have been just feeding them sandwiches and juice boxes.  I smell nothing.  I need to know what’s happening!  Yes…I’m hungry.  My lunch of a full on salad with avocado, cucumbers and some seeds.  I had a bun with it but still…it’s not the smell of what I was guessing was lasagna and garlic bread.

These thoughts are not helping my diet at all.  In my last job I would have had the freedom to run and grab a stack.  For the better of my health I only get a half hour lunch and nothing good is really close so its variety store food or what a bring from home.  I’m doing fairly well at bringing food so that’s something good that I’ve managed to keep up with.  I don’t want to be all hungry and angry when I get home from work either.  I’m starting to think I’m lucky to live alone.  I’m starting to think others are lucky I live alone too. 

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