Hugs

Today and yesterday there were several moments when I wanted a hug.  Not a short quick one but a good 20 to 40 second one.  I think when your stressed or sad it should be like that moment in Waiting to Exhale.  Without the love and stuff.  When you hug someone all that bad energy weighing you down either goes up or gets sucked into the other person for all I care.  But, for a moment or two that hug takes it away.  Basic human contact.

As a single girl getting a hug is almost impossible.  If I didn't work with a few huggie people I may never get a hug.  I think one of the people I work with gets this and give up hugs like they are candy at Halloween.  It's not a sexual thing at all, it's just understanding that rather then being a bitch, getting drunk or whatever your vice is you give it up for a few moments.  As I don't have someone to come home to I can't just walk in the door and say "I need a hug" or give one when asked.  When life gets a little much this would be nice.  The older I get the more I realize you really do have to ask for what you want and let people know what you expect and need.  Playing a guessing game doesn't do anything.

Why am I being so deep?  Aside from popping a huge zit in my armpit today I've watched a few friends with struggles.  I don't share many of mine but listening to a few close friends and sharing their pain and to be selfish, how it will effect my life has been a bit of a downer and drain the last week.  I am an only child after all so I kind of need to know how it's going to play out for me.  After that, I can help you out. 

I wonder sometimes if "special" people who run up and give everyone hugs are happier.  They don't seem to have any worries in the world when they are grabbing you up for a big hug.  I wonder if we all just grabbed each other for a hug...

I do want to just say that these hugs are just hugs.  Not bill 168 hugs.  Just nice non rubbing dirties together hugs.