Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Vagina Music

Tomorrow is a big day for me.  I get to scratch something off my bucket list!  I am going to leave early and meet Jann Arden with my best friends.  Super excited.  I have always loved Jann and her take on life.  Yesterday when I was home sick *cough cough* I ran to Coles and got a copy.  I had also ordered a copy but that has yet to come and I could not wait...I love her that much.

I hate Vagina Music.  I'm not very lesbian that way.  I openly laugh at CD's like Women in Song and Lilith Fair.  I only like Melissa Etheridge early on before she was all gay and open about it.  There is just something about being super mega female that scares me.  I have never dated but am intrigued by those lesbians who believe in sister hood and non shaving of anything.  Years ago I saw a pair of them at Call the office.  Hairy pits, short hair and more pride then a semi professional drag queen.  They were so in love with each other.  All young, full of hope and body smells.  I don't think I've ever been in love enough with anyone to be OK with that much body hair.  I didn't even want to think of their early 20's snatches.  I'm guessing if they had no time to find shirts with sleeves or deodorant shaving tootsie belle was not something they were into.

I know a couple in their late 40's who think it's gross to shave tootsie belle.  (I am calling the vagina tootsie belle as this is how my Nana referred to mine.)  Now they seem to believe that shaving is somehow making your tootsie like that of a childs.  Looking at these two old married lesbian I am picturing them dry humping stuck together like Velcro shoes.  They are so against it that in the 10 years they have been married I don't think they have done more then a light trim.  I gag at the thoughts of that dueling hot mess!

So, I've scrubbed, shaved and moisturized.  Tomorrow I will be feeling like I'm at my best with no dead skin when I meet Jann.  I plan on saying something witty but with my luck will catch sight of cleavage and mumble something stupid about toes as I hand her my book.

Lets hope that does not happen...but it might.

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