One more sleep until I get my new bed. I can’t even get over myself. I could nominate basement girl for person of the year right now. Due to lack of hours at her work she was way far to ok with spending her day expertly painting my bedroom in full. I don’t think she would ever get how much stress that takes off this chunky monkey. When I get home from work I really am not in the mood for much so the thought of coming home to a full on painting job is nothing I’m interested in at all. It had to be done…no point in getting a new bed in a bad juju room. Either way tonight will be spent doing laundry and getting everything ready for Saturday.
I’ve had a lot of struggles in the last while and despite being happy with some parts of my life I’ve really needed something to spruce myself and the house up. A new bedroom and bed is just what I need to give me something to look forward to and enjoy. Chances are I will be off in the summer unless something comes up so I have that to prepare for mentally and financially for that joy. I’m ok with it really. I love working but I do enjoy time at home with the boys a little too much. Who knows, I could be blogging daily, even hourly with all that time to my own thoughts.
As per usual I’m trying to set up a Buddy of mine with a girl from work’s brother. Usually my set up’s of my friends are terrible and don’t even get to the meeting phase but this one seems like it’s totally perfect. So this could mean one of two things…either they will be perfect together and fall in love thus staying together for a while and breaking up in a messy way blaming me eventually or they can meet and really feel nothing too exciting. Either way I’m determined to get a finders fee for this one. I think that’s fair. Honestly.
Clearly I’m a little jaded when it comes to love and romance. I think I almost always have been. People focus too much on what they think or want someone to be and not getting to know and enjoy who they really are. Or who they really are not. When people just don’t fit then it’s really best to move on. Why prolong things? I was given a hard time about a break up not long ago so it got me thinking about relationships. I don’t plan on talking trash or details but relationships but I realize I need a few things to keep me from even wanting a relationship with anyone.
1. Respect. Said person has to respect themselves as much as they respect others. I don’t do what I’m not comfortable with nor would I ever expect anyone else to feel they had to because we were dating.
2. Freedom. Expectations when women date seems to be that they have to spend every second talking about feelings and being together all the time. That is nothing I am interested in. I enjoy spending time with someone but I need time to do my own thing without having my balls busted for that not including the person I’m dating. I’m an odd bird that way but I don’t feel like a person needs to be involved in every aspect of my life. I love my life and am protective of it. By the same token I don’t want to be immersed in every aspect of someone else’s life either. It’s your life…live it. I can share in it on my own level.
3. Passion. Aside from passion with the person I need to see passion for something they do. When someone shows passion for their job, something they create, reading, friends and life it is something you can’t help to want to be part of. Someone who’s only passion are others really is setting themselves up for a life of disappointment. Their achievements, interests and goals become yours and soon you have no idea who you are or were. Find your own path. If it’s not with mine then that’s ok too. Life is for living not following.
4. Chill. As an introvert I can’t be having someone all demanding and rammy about things. I do and talk about things in my own way and time. Sometimes that frustrates people but it’s part of who I am. Sometimes I say no when something is going to take too much of my emotional energy. If I have a lot going on or a bad day at work the last thing I want to do with my energy is run around or entertain. I never understood why someone would want or demand to be around someone who is not mentally there or open to spending time together. Be cool and have some respect.
For now that’s about all I can think of really. Maybe that’s why I seem to end up meeting people who either are on the way out of the city to follow a dream or living a dream outside the city? Hard to tell. Maybe it works for me in some way or better yet gives me the freedom to do all the things I want while getting a sampling of a relationship. Either way…I plan to keep trying to set people up. Even myself.