So last week at work I had a wonderfully conversation with a Drag Queen about giving back. I know that sounds odd but let me explain a little bit. First off I should explain that most of the time I’m scared of Drag Queens. Maybe I’m not in touch with my inner Diva the way I should be or the fact that a huge tall man looks more amazing as a woman then I do is weirdly threatening to me. At any rate I have always had a hard time making eye contact with a Drag Queen in full Diva. This Diva was in scrubs coming from a day job of helping others as a PSW dropping of some cash he raised doing a drag show and as a donation.
We talked for a bit and he told me about giving a woman crap for tossing out coats in the garbage. She had told him that she didn’t have time to donate them, she was too busy. He had told her “No, you mean you are too good. Too London to be seen at a place where someone might benefit from your scraps.” Now when you are in touch with the inner Diva inside then you have no problem telling some North London lady off. I realized I’ve done the same thing. I’ve been rammy and just wanted something done and cleaned out. I’ve tossed shirts I’ve never worn with tags on them in a garbage bag not caring. The more I think about it the more angry I get at myself. I remember a youth who was big looking for job interview clothes at Clothing Works and they had nothing in her size. She left feeling ashamed and I’m sure slightly more hopeless then she went in. And this Healthy Helga is just tossing plus size shirts away like I was done with them and too good to take the extra 5 minutes to put a bag together for Goodwill or Clothing Works. What a c-word. I was no better really then snobby North London woman.
I do have to say that I’m 100 times better then I was. I’ve seen people who have maybe 2 sets of clothes, hardly any food and no money to even wash their clothes. I’ve sat with them and had a chat about the weather and helped them with finding information. I’ve secretly judged but when you can’t really do anything big to help you build up a wall. I don’t want to think too much about what they are dealing with. I’ve been bitching about my bed being so uncomfortable. I have one and I didn’t fish it out of the garbage.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to change the world or giving everything I have to a church or something. I’m just saying if we all took a minute or two and put our crap in a box for someone to use then maybe we would make a difference. So after my talk with the Drag Queen I made the choice to start putting aside house stuff for a youth I’ve been in touch with who is moving out with nothing. Why not? I would rather have my crap go a kid who has nothing then to Value Village where they over price it. I’m not a fan of that. I would donate to Goodwill since they are employing people and would not try and sell my gross used towel for 4 bucks. Just sayin.
A while back I put a message on facebook that a friend needed baby boy clothes for twins. My Buddy Kim and her friends (all seem to have a lot of kids) busted a nut getting me garbage bags full of clothes. Amazing. That’s what I would like to see more of! People asking for others and friends searching around and getting rid of what they don’t need to help someone who doesn’t have the cash for the basic things.
So lessons to be learned would be not to fear a wise Drag Queen and give back. It doesn’t have to be money or tons of time. Just making someone who feels like no one cares know that you took time to make sure they had some of what they need to do what we take for granted. Who wants to dry their balls with the same towel for 2 weeks until you have laundry money? So I’m going to try and give more. Life is hard enough so if I can make it a tad easier for someone with nothing right now I guess it’s good karma for me. Who knows where I will be when this contract ends? I could be needing some help. We all could at some point.
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