Thursday, 20 June 2013

Books in the yard

Apparently putting on my underwear correctly was a bit of a stretch this morning.  I don’t fully know what’s wrong but thus far I’m waiting for appointments to cool down before I fix myself.  These are one of my good pairs too!  Either way should my pants fall down I will be wearing clean and excitingly cool looking underwear.  That’s a bonus. 

Look at me boring the shit out of you people three days in a row.  I’ve decided that during my downtime I will do my best to blog since I need to both look busy and keep my comedy mind working at all times.  Writing helps with ideas so really this blog deal is an investment in my writing future and exercising my smart ass remarks to you guys.  So really you should all be thanking me.  You’re welcome guys.  No problem.

Last night after a long day at work and a bad night for Basement Girl (Lets just call her what my Mother calls her from this point on.  BG.)  So BG and I opted to have some share the same home bonding time with a burger and some Value Village Shopping.  Swank I know.  We both have a slight addiction to the book section of Value Village so every few months we end up there scouting the books.  Last night and 28 dollars later (a little much for used books but I have no self control) we both walked out feeling happy with out purchases.  I of course gave into one of my biggest guilty pleasures.  Biographies of almost any sort.  I love a good biography of an interesting celebrity or historical figure who has lived an interesting life.  These books I mostly read in the shitter or on rainy days when no one is around to mock the glint in my eye and smile on my face.  I am sure my mother wishes I had discovered this type of book when I was young.  Summers at the cottage usually cost her and my grandparents about 50 bucks in books to keep me busy.  I think this was where I began stealing books from the school library.  Needless to say the security of Cartier PS Library was non existent.  You filled out the little card and put it in a little bucket.  I learned early on to leave my card blank and not return the book.  Good luck finding me Mrs. O’Brian!  This lead to the great cleaning out my room in grade 8 resulting in about 60 library books that had been stolen over the years.  Sneaking them back into the library was no small event.  I ended up filling my back pack about 3 times and hiding the books in the closed off area where crap was stored.  I managed to get them all back without being discovered or my Mother calling to follow up. 

Clearly my obsession for books started early.  My mother was and is still a reader.  I don’t know how you can not be a reader when one or both of your parent’s faces are pressed into a book much of the time.  From the age of about 12 I tried to relate to my Mom via books.  At the cottage I would read the books she had just finished.  Usually a mystery or a Danielle Steele book.  You would think I had an unrealistic view of love based on the romance books I was bored enough to read while with my family.  As an only child I had to read to amuse myself.  Reading eventually turned to writing and coming up with my own story ideas.  If I could only focus enough to write my own book. 

So the purchases made last night were as follows:
* Margaret Trudeau Bio.  Newer and talks about her mental health issues.
* Meredith Baxter (Elyse Keaton – the Mom on Family Ties) is a lesbian now.  So that should have some good action.
* Book about a dog that races and 2 people have told me I need to read.
* Barbra Walters far to publicized autobiography Audition.  This was a book I have been avoiding since I came out.  I am not a real fan but one thing I can’t take away from her is a life full of interesting shit.  If there is a full chapter on Hasselbeck I’m going to burn the book in backyard fire.  Either way I might burn it as I don’t want to die and be found with this book in my home.

A tiny part of me wished I was both unemployed with a stunning yard to sit out and read in for the summer.  I guess I should also wish I didn’t burn in the shade and had a pool but the other two aren’t happening either so lets not get all caught up in my sense of dream entitlement.  Either way its not going to happen so reading on the shitter and in my backyard is going to have to be all I’ve got this summer.  So is life.  As usual I will be happy with what I have and just deal.  I’ve enjoyed being out more with Norman and Fred and think honestly more time this summer with the boys would be wonderful.  At some point I hope the neighbour gets his ass in gear and builds me up a privacy fence.  If I had one on both sides I could be pants free, reading in my the shade. 

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