Thursday 10 January 2013

"When I sneeze I die a little"

So the last two days I have been sicker then I thought possible.  I've been avoiding getting colds this season but how does one avoid stomach flu.  Or food poisoning.  I'm not sure.  Either way I've lost 10 lbs.  That bad.

Yesterday morning at 3:30 I woke up.  I felt a fart but something deep inside told me not to trust it.  Even half asleep I knew something was up.  In the bathroom I soon found that my intuition was not only right...it was dead on.  Not only did I get my period but I got the raging scoots.  I thought I was going to die.  Then I coughed and my stomach did a flop that only means one thing...yep.  I managed to run and get a bag (was not thinking straight) and got back on the bowl just in time to vomit up my lovely salmon, rice and corn dinner.  Again, and again.  Then I soon realised the bag had a hole in it.  Of course it did.  So, while taking a break I went and got a stainless steel bowl and began vomiting into that.  Hours later I was done.  Totally empty on both ends. 

By the end I was yelling as I vomited.  Like my Dad.  I remember when I was a kid, he was in the bathroom screaming.  I was terrified since he never yelled.  My mom said he was throwing up.  This explains when I was a kid why I would bang on the wall when I was sick.  I didn't like to bother anyone or scare the shit out of them like my Dad.  My poor Nana had to explain to my mom that when I puked I hit the walls. Like a crazy person.  (Couldn't see my quirky behaviour emerging could we?)

Today I slept all afternoon.  My back and shoulder muscles are totally pulled.  I made the mistake of sneezing a few times and thought I was going to die.  I'm serious.  Between my head pounding constantly from dehydration and the pulled muscles I was sure I would fall over dead.  I've managed to stop sneezing for now but the fear of it is keeping me in a state of fear. 

I hope to be better by the weekend.  So many plans have been cancelled as well as some job stuff but who wants to be around someone who has lost 10 lbs that fast.  I don't get how super models can vomit that much.  I can hardly talk my throat hurts! 

Anyway, back to life and reality. 

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