Fake Meat while Pants Free

I do like to make people happy and after going over requests for topics (keep them coming) I opted to not talking about sex you filthy perverts and instead talk about cooking today. 

STILL being unemployed means everyday feels like a weekend but I do like to make the weekends semi special so I opt to use this time for dates and cooking.  Today I decided to stretch that non existent food budget and make a shit ton of pasta sauce filled with far too many vegetables and fake meat.  I have an evil plot to fool myself into thinking that if the sauce is full of vegetables I won't eat as much pasta.  Yeah...I'm already laughing too. 

So I've already opted to make enough so that I have to use the long centre burner on my stove and mix everything in a roasting pan.  I've done this before and it's a life saver.  Who needs a pot when you have a penis shaped burner that also has an attachment for pancakes.  Men would be a bigger selling point if they had a breakfast food option with the penis.  (Save the baby batter jokes...I invented half of them.)


I also dug out my good Paderno chopper.  Now follower bitches you should know two things about me in the kitchen.  I love bleach and Paderno!  If you don't know what Paderno is let me express to you the value of quality cookware.  Now I know that unless you are getting married most people buy what they can afford as far as pots and pans and that is fine.  However if you spend the money, respect the stuff and use it the right way you won't ever have to replace it.  Paderno is a (used to be) made in Canada stainless steel cookware.  They have branched out now into other kitchen stuff but they were known for pots and pants.  Home hardware has sales on it a few times a year and as always my Mom and I are there fawning over a piece we don't have.  The last sale we went to I got 3 cutting boards (black ones in the back) and a handy food chopper.

Now I know there are choppers just like this out there.  I had one that I liked but had to replace it as the side nipple (yep...it's a nipple) snapped off when I was chopping something.  The Paderno one is basically the same but with more inserts and said nipple has yet to flick off under my chopping demands.  So good. 

I love a good kitchen gadget.  I think days like this when I do cook and get out a good pot, use more then one burner on the stove and dust off the chopper I think I'm the fuckin shit in the kitchen.  I'm not at all cool in the kitchen but since getting really good quality knives for Christmas 2 years ago I seem to think I could get my own show on the Food Network sharpening the knives and chopping things.  I give it two episodes. 

In the past I have talked about the fake meat and I've taken a picture of the cooking of said fake meat.  It's not bad but if you have the high blood pressure watch the salt.  It can be a bit much depending on how much you eat.  I have enjoyed in as taco's but really like it with pasta.  The sauce and the veggies kind of mask the texture and you really can't tell it's soy based.

Since I'm shoving the importance of good cookware down your throat I should mention that the pan I'm cooking my fake meat in might be the best thing ever.  It's what's apparently called an everyday pan.  Basically because you use it for everything...and I do.  I've cooked everything in it.  It always comes back to great shape and cleans up super easy.  I treat it well too...it's my Jesus of cookware.  Where I go when times get hard and bacon needs to be cooked.  Amen.

Everything is now cooked and soon the to be divided up and packaged for the freezer.  I did have a small bowl of macaroni and sauce...amazing.  I honestly think I might try something else to freeze. 

So if you take anything away from today's blog is to invest in good pots and pans and use bleach.  Seriously, if I ever meet the perfect person for me there will be a small war if it's even suggested we not use my kitchen stuff.  Seriously.